Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Better

I feel better today, even though I'm exhausted. I wasn't sleeping properly, but then again I was up doing naughty things.. =P

My mood swings have lighten up just a tiny little bit. Dad is back from Taiwan and i missed talking to him. Seeing dad's lil cute antics are just so entertaining it's priceless. Mum has been great too, now that bro is back she's not really on my back all the time. =)

The wound on my right ear is healing up pretty quickly, it's been in an icky condition for too many weeks now and being me, not doin anythin to it, it has grown really ugly to the point I'd feel like cutting it off. It's got all the dried up plasma and everything (no pus thankfully!) and the itch is so unbearable sometimes that i scratch it til the plasma sorta leaks right down my neck. Yeah, it's that bad, wound was big enough for plasma to leak down a couple of centimeters.

Had lunch with parents today (one of my fave times) at some hawker place. My food came first and I started eating without mum n dad. Dad go this food and commented that mum eats the slowest and she hasn't gotten her food yet. Mum refuted to say I ate the slowest and that she's not at the bottom of the list anymore.. =_="

I usually don't eat that slowly, or at least I don't think so. I just want to eat slower because I want to properly chew my food (I always thought if I didn't chew properly I'd grow fatter faster) and that I didn't want to sweat while eating.. =/ I gobbled the last 2 spoonful of my Lam Mee (not very great, by the way) and then I started sweating.. =( That proved my point of eating slowly. Sweating may be good, but I hate to sweat when I'm not supposed to. Especially when I still need to look and smell fresh at the end of the day to go out at night without goin home for a change.

Another conversation we had during lunch - my weight. I have been complaining about my weight since forever, and I have yet to lose any unwanted bits of my body. I guess I jinxed myself from saying that I'd lose all the weight in Malaysia once I come back. My Aussie friends are sure gonna laugh at me.. =( But then again they don't really think I'm fat, perhaps except for George.. =P Anyway, mum doesn't think I'm fat, she thinks I look just nice. Dad on the other hand, who is supposed to be more conservative, says I am. "肥,你哪里不肥!" =_=" Sigh, I guess this is it. My dad thinks I'm a pig.. >_< hehe =P

Ms Emily from the office says I'm not fat (numerous occassions) then one day she asked how much I weighed. I told her the figure and she stopped saying that I'm not fat.. >_<

Azman from 2nd floor (who's a bit de 38/b.body) used the universal sign language to tell me I've grown bigger in the face and the body... =_="

I used to wear size 24-26 jeans, now I have to wear a 27-28! >_<

My face is already pretty square, with my weight gain, I can now use my cheek as a frying pan. Who wants a sunny side up?

I need to lose weight.


Tuesday, December 02, 2008

December

It's December..

I have yet accomplished all my ''realistic goals'' for November, but now I could not care less.

My mood swings are back. I think it's PMS. =/

Thanks for the hug, Lu.. The hug on Saturday was much much much needed. I think I still need some now.

Don't understand why I keep making myself unhappy. Thinking about unhappy things, doing things that would make me unhappier. This is dumb. Yet am I doing something about it? I don't think so. Perhaps I'll just go to sleep after this entry. Hopefully I'll wake up feeling fresh again.

Did not buy a single thing on Saturday, or Sunday. Bought some much needed sweets today, need to have more sweets around me so I have company. Yeah, sweets as company.

Thinkin of sis' engraving behind her new ipod - Happiness is my choice.

Okay, will try. But let me finish grieving and throw fits first. I want to stomp on the ground and let all that anger and sadness flow out of my feet. I want to cry my heart out and dig out my tear glands so I will not have tears to cry anymore. I am such a crybaby.

Stuff it.

I need a hug.