My September 2006

20 hours to go before September ends.. ;)

September 1st
My 1st few hours were spent on a 777-200. It was Jacke's birthday, n i came back to Melbourne a day earlier (i told him i'd arrive on the 2nd) to celebrate with him. It was also our housemate Ronald's b'day, n the guyz were planning a bbq party at home. Not knowin i would arrive on the 1st, they called for a stripper to come to our house, n stripped for R. They had Ronald tied up to a plastic chair, it was pathetic, n honestly, a bit embarassing.. It was really funny to see R's face when Breanna danced n moved around him, he looked as if he was disgusted. hahaa Hilarious! I didn't have the mood for the bbq tho, didn't eat much.

I've missed my car so much..

September 7th

Jacke n i have been arguin a lot, this wasn't supposed to happen. Have not been leavin my room for some days now, coz my eyes were too swollen from constant cryin. I've continued to not have mood to eat, n have lost about 1kg (agak only lar). n was STILL tidyin up n unpackin my stuff. i did take a picture of my "then" closet, but decided dat it's too gruesome to share it with u guyz. it's not dirty, it's just really messy.. haha no thx to Elaine who asked me to take a picture of my closet, now i look at it to remind me how messy i am.

September 14th

Celebrated Wilson(R's younger bro)'s b'day at the Forest Hill Karaoke. Have also been cryin the whole week, decided not to cry anymore. It's so sad dat it's becomin funny. ahah R/ships are jz not as easy to maintain as i thought. Lost 3kgs by now.

Birthday Boy Wilson & lovely gf Cara~

With frenz Ben & Anson, who're really funny n cute.

Ronald's turn to sing n Yoon's turn to puff his lungs out.

L: Yoon & Cara acting cute, R: Y being obnoxious. >_<

Zoom in to see Wilson's face, damn funny. haha

Sweetie Cara n i, being girlz.. XP

Love has never been so unclear.. @_@

September 15th

Went out with Albert, April n frenz. Met Min Hui at Yng Thai, n then cousin Im at a Docklands chocolate place. Don't even remember the name. Hah! Pictures would look nicer..

Chrysanthemum & Jasmine Tea --> Chinese tea + exotic name.. Pretty!

Looks = 70%, taste = 20%, the rest of the 10% not worthy to be given.

R-L: Phillip, Jackie, Yen, April & Albert's middle finger. keke

L: Note Wilson's messy hair, R: The last of the teethless Albi.

September 16th

Went to Min Hui's new place next to Marriot Hotel, she's got really really nice finger food supplied by her guests. hehe THEN went out with dinner n dessert again!! Diana brought this really nice Almond n Apricot cheese, which is extremely addictive. I'm such a sucker for desserts. Steamboat dinner was not very very nice, a trip to Soul Mama will always make my day tho.. Let me present to u.. *cue drumroll*

My FAVOURITE dessert in Melbourne: Chocolate Espresso Pot with Soy cream.

L: Mark & Im jie, R: sis Mq n i.

Im jie's fren Mark is very frenly, n he's really knowledgeable. Plus he can eat very very very spicy food. Mark was eatin from the spicy side of the steamboat while i ate the mild side, n he could even hold chopsticks properly, cool huh? There aren't any pictures of MH's house warming tho, haven't been able to get Diana (the photographer) on MSN. :/

September 20th

Girls' night out - me, Min Hui, Diana, Lee Inn & new-found fren Mey. All of us are accountants!! Except for MH, she's in marketing. heheh

Took this while drivin on the highway, notice how i'm swayin off the road?? DANGEROUS!!

The dedicated photographer - Diana.

Diana kept takin pictures of other ppl but not herself, so i took some of her. hehe, it's really nice to be catchin up with them, haven't seen them for too long. At least now i've got more company than i initially thought.

September 23rd

Woke up super early to go to the Tulip Farm. With another bunch of frenz this time.

Ppl say i look like a small kid, wat do u think?

These flowers are jz gorgeous, aren't they? My faves: 3, 4, 6, & 7.

The fake rainbow on display, available whole year round. Even at night, keke.

Don't u jz love white flowers?

Last pic of my post, Patrick acting FARNEE!!! hahaa He said those pink ones are really pretty, kept askin ppl to take ths pic. -_-"

Okay, no more pictures to show u guyz.. Actually, still got one, but i'll keep it for the next entry. Also flowers, sadly.. hehe

My new Havaianas!

An update on my job applications. I hesitated wakin up this mornin, but i did in the end, at 11:55am. -_-" I made 3 calls, 1st one said i wasn't wat they were lookin for, n dat the job offer was already in the finalising stage. 2nd one, no one picked up. Probably lunch time? 3rd one i just realised i didn't have their number so i checked another job offer n found the number to the recruitment company. Voila! nope, i wasn't wat they were lookin for either. But the very nice Mr Feldman made sure he got my details right n said they would contact me if any employers were interested in my resume. So there goes, just 10 minutes of callin n i'm out in the cold again. Sigh, i'm such a coward. Never mind, the search goes on.

I went shoppin with Jacke, there were 2 warehouse sales dat i wanted to go, but the Westco, MNG one was rather far, n i didn't wanna go all the way out, so we went to this Olga... shit, i forgot the name. It's an Aussie brand. They have quite nice bags, but mainly for older ppl, not my age. Saw this gorgeous sleep over bag tho.. Croc Skin imitation material.. Heavenly. Too big for petite Mz, n i don't need another hand luggage, so bye bye nice bag.

So we went to Smith Street in search for a pair of "walkin" shoes for myself. I just realised, in my whole time here in melbourne, the only pair of shoes dat i own, dat resembled to a pair of sport shoes would be my reddish converse pair. Which i have no idea where it is now. I saw a pair of Converse which i really liked today, sorta checkered, mid-length, white n greyish. Bloody $80, didn't seem like the price i would pay for a pair of shoes i'm so unlikely to wear 5 times in a month. It's really nice tho.. =P

I bought a pair of Havaianas!! Yay! I'm so happy about the buy, altho quite disappointed in the whole Smith St shoppin trip. My new slippers are a turqoise shade of blue! Hehe, see, jz talkin about it makes me feel so happy. I actually have another pair of hot pink ones, dunno where Jacke kept them.. :( Left my chocolate Reefs slippers in KL, so no more slippers to flop around. Anyway, i show u!!
Yay again!! They're really turqoise colored. I know Min Hui has a couple of pairs, maybe i should collect them as well. Keke, since i was really tempted to buy the Navy, Lavender, Orange n Yellow pair today. Got them for about $18 a pair, maybe i'll get Kai n Charz a pair? Will definitely get Charz a pair, but do u want one, Kai? Wat colour har? Charz, light purple one okay ar? No pink for u.. I've seen some ppl wearin Havaianas with the Brazil flags embedded, n i've always been wonderin where they got them if it was in M'sia? I saw the Brazil, Japan n Aussie flag ones today. Then suddenly i thought i didn't have any reasons to be buyin the ones with the Brazil flags, coz.. i dunno much about Brazil n i've got nothin to do with it at all. Haha, then i thought of buyin the Aussie ones, only if they looked prettier. keke

ANYWAY, Jacke bought a pair of Timberland shoes (he wants me to blog about it.. XP) which he really liked. Too sporty, if u ask me, but hey, it's not up to me to decide. It looked decent on Jacke, n for the price less than dat of the Converse i saw today, it's worth it. At least it would be more comfy, should be.

The wind was really strong today, n there were dust n dirt everywhere. I've got so much "stuff" gettin caught in my eye today i couldn't even walk properly, imagine dat. And because i couldn't walk properly, i bumped into this big lady, bugger biatch.. i was literally coverin my eyes with both hands n walkin so slowly while she just walked into me, makin me bump into her breasts. Ugh, it hurt.. My whole right eye looked bloody after dat, i felt like i was gettin a bruise. Wat was she thinking?? She was the one walkin with her eyes open n i wasn't like walkin in zig zags or somethin, stupid blindo.. I cover my eyes n she's the blind one. Hah! Worse of all, she didn't apologize, n i did. Stupid me, being too nice.. :(

I bought a nice white cropped button-up knit jacket. If u call them jackets.. Sigh, those lingos make me so confused. Never mind, it's really sweet n all, there was orange n brown, but white was the best choice, hope it doesn't stain easily.

Got a long day tmr, Tulip Farm, hope it'll be a good drive. ;)

Sweet thanks n love to u, Bro

My wonderfully sweet brother has jz wrote somethin for me..
Abiding Metamorphosis: to Mayzzz

Thankyou my dearest brother for ur kind words. It'll take time, probably a lot of time, to heal n recuperate, n to be as i was before. Love n life will never be the same, n i still wonder if i should change.

To all who have comforted, n offered, i thankyou too, sincerely..

Nervous

I've just finished watchin a Singaporean production "I Not Stupid Too" by Jack Neo. I think it's really good, it really tells parents to listen to their kids. I mean, wat they're tryin to bring out to the parents, at least. It made me leave a tear or two on the tissue, but it's worth it. At first it was about parents not listenin to their kids, then it was dat the kids couldn't talk to their parents anymore.

I guess i must admit dat this show has unfortunately brought me back to my past, as I did experience wat it was like dat my parents didn't listen to me. Maybe it was more of the 2nd part, dat i couldn't talk to my parents. I felt dat i couldn't tell them how i felt, or wat i wanted to do, n dat left me really frustrated. I must credit my parents tho, for my upbringing, n for tryin to improve as parents. How many mums would study Psychology in Education for their kids just to try to help them study? How many dads would teach u how to ride a bicycle, then teach u how to ride a motorbike, just to let u know how it feels? There may be parents like dat out there, but i'm sure our own parents would make us feel proudest of them. I'm proud of my parents, n i try to make my parents proud of me. I must confess i haven't really being able to succeed in my part, but i'm sure one day my parents would be, if they haven't already felt dat way.

Anyway, Nervous is the topic of the day. I'm feelin rather nervous right now, it's already 3am n i feel like i've just woken up. I've sent 3 job applications via Seek on Tuesday n i've written dat i'll call on friday to enquire about my applications. That's wat i'm supposed to do, as i was told.

Went out with Min Hui, Lee Inn n Diana yesterday night. Did a lil bit of catchin up, n got to know Mey from them. Apparently all 4 of us (except MH) are in the accounting field. Lee Inn is in an insolvency firm, Mey is doing Taxation, n Diana jz graduated n will be goin back to M'sia to work for HSBC. It was a really good outing, u know.. Girls talk n stuff like dat.. I reckon we'd make a really good support team for each other. It feels good to be catchin up with Min Hui after so long, even tho our last outing in KL was just a few months back.. Or rather QUITE a few months back already.

We're planning a visit to the Tesselar Tulip Festival this Saturday, even tho i've been there before. I hope the tulips would be at their best, n i'm hopin to see more tulips than i did last year. Will be makin some more new frenz there, hopefully we'll all have fun, with Tracy's 2 sisters n some of Patrick's church mates. I'm actually interested in goin to Canberra for the Spring Festival, as i heard dat's where the largest Spring celebration is held. More n more flowers! Haha, well, wat do u know? Almost every girl is a flower girl.. =P Who doesn't love flowers?? Maybe those who're allergic to pollens or have really bad hay fevers when they're around flowers, but basically, flowers are for everyone. Ah, look where i've gone to now.

Flower Land.

Uhm, i better concentrate on getting my answers right, or some really good ppl who will employ me straight away. Gosh, i'm not even sure if i'm right for the job. But Mey suggested dat i get into Audit first, get to run around, understand company structures a lil bit.. wat did she say already? Damn, i forgot. I was supposed to prepare for this. I'm sure if they're interested, they'll get me to go for an interview.. I'll keep my fingers crossed, but nobody really get jobs during their 1st few interviews, do they? (i know Kai did =P) But anyhow, dat's IF I GET ANY INTERVIEW(S). Pray for me, my frenz.

Oh, n a lil update, Albert has got his teeth back already, can't wait to see him. 3 yrs without his front teeth, it's gonna be weird. Even his gf April laughed at him the whole day.. Hehe, hopefully i'll see him friday or sat.

Will update pictures soon too, next post, maybe. PRAY FOR ME! =) g'nite.

Be strong

More heartache WILL come my way, i shall be strong..

Thx for clearing it up with me, i appreciate it.

I understand the situation i'm in, but it's not wat u think it's like. Nobody but me knows how it's like. It's sheer pain n suffering..

Thx Lena, for your call of comfort.. I shall go on being stronger, no understanding needed.

Don't worry

I look at my last entry, re-read it for like.. maybe the 3rd time, n saw dat the date of entry is 13th sept. Today it's 14th sept, n just a mere 39 hours of my last post i felt like blogging again. It felt like it had been days since i last blogged.

I believe that i'm still lost, haven't gotten any answers for the past few days. My questions have been bugging me for a while now. Perhaps a long while. Life still feels incomplete.

My housemates n I, including some other frenz went to celebrate Wilson's b'day yesterday night, Karaoke, just like last year. By the end of the night, 2:30am, Cara was feeling sleepy n drunk, even tho she really didn't drink much. She was smiling n giggling all the way, it was really cute. I've never seen her like dat. I got into my car, with Wilson, Cara n Ronald following closely behind. After strapping on my seat belt, i could see dat Cara was sittin on the floor by the road, she couldn't help herself into the car before collapsing. Wilson helped her in, n she was still giggling. Please don't vomit in my car, i thought. She soon fell asleep, occassionally mumbling somethin to Wilson.

The whole journey home, i was thinking to myself. Why did Cara drink dat much when she knows she can't drink at all? How much alcohol, Heinekens do i have to down myself with in order to get as drunk as she was? I already had a stub, which didn't felt like anythin, almost like a hot drink keeping myself warm in the night. I am as sober as i can be.. was, sorry. Then it got me thinkin, if i really drank dat much parellel to the extend of Cara being in dat state, wat would i be doin? Would i be laughin n giggling like Cara? Or would i be cryin my head off nursing a wound? It wouldn't be very nice, would it? To cry n tear while not being able to support myself physically. That'll be a pain in the ass.

I'll try not to get to dat stage, the cryin stage i mean. Not dat i drink all the time, but booze is rather available around here, n they don't cost as much as they do in KL. I won't cry, yeah.. Don't worry.

Intense Roller Coaster Ride

For the past week or so, my life has been turned upside down. Not only was it turned upside down, it was inside out as well. Many of u closest to me would know, i was havin a relationship crises, a crises so big that it equaled the 911 event. To me only, u silly, not u.

I have currently made up my mind, that it would be best to stay with Jacke. A lot of our conditions have changed, we no longer used to be what we were like back then, when everythin was okay. I could not be the "cute" mz who jumps around n laugh all the time. Maybe i need more time.. maybe i've changed. Jacke isn't as "cute" anymore too, he no longer smile or joke all the time. We've both changed.. Is it for the better? Well, only time will tell.

My heart still hurts, i'm still in pain. Plz don't question me, i won't answer u. Still learning to heal, it will take time.. give me time. i need time.. plz understand. Thanks to u guyz who were there for me.

Rough Patch

What's goin on in this world now? It seems my girls n i are havin rough patches, on our own. We girls are still strong, but on our own, we seemed to be crumbling.. We're okay, but emotionally, the support isn't there anymore.

Comin back to Melbourne, is like comin back to reality. Or is it not? I left KL with a different feeling this time around. I'm not comin to Melbourne as a student anymore, my status has changed. I've obtained PR status and I'm back here for work. I have to be independent, n not rely on my parents on everythin, money, shelter, abstract feelings, support that i get from them. I've left my job in KL (not exactly a job), my family, my bestest frenz, my pets, my new-found frenz.. Most of all, i've left the security in KL, the feelin of security i've been taking for granted.. dat everythin's been taken care of, no worries about money, food, shelter, transport. Everything..

Have I changed? I would like to be carefree, who wouldn't? But i'd also like to live in the REAL world. The real one. I find dat i have been avoidin issues, if i thought i had any, i'd just shove them away, takin a peek at them to see if they're pickin up pace to hunt me down someday. I've just been told that i've changed, and my change may make me a miserable person. What is it that i've changed? What's the real reason behind being miserable? Why can't I continue to be me? The REAL me? Or is it that the real me has never surfaced? I'm not sure I know anymore.

I've had enough of crying. I've never cried so much in my life before, n I shall stop. For the reasons that have made me cry, I shan't let myself go this time. I'm alright guyz. There's a lot more of life than just this. And i'm bound to discover it, n i'll do it happily. With someone, with a group, all by myself, i shall discover true happiness once n for all.

P/S: I shall always remember Steve Irwin as the brave and big-hearted environmentalist who strived for animals to be happy either being conserved or wild, n he as a person who loved life to the max.. Rest in peace, Mr. Irwin.